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Holidays
can be quite stressful regardless how we spend them. Depression, anxiety,
overeating, overspending, dealing with family, concerns about safety,
and drug or alcohol use are among issues that can come come up during
this time. Below is some advice found on the Internet. I've also added
my own holiday advice for those who are trying to stay clean and sober
(scroll down the page or click here).
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This
is one of the best handouts I've seen on the subject. The file
is in Adobe PDF format. |
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Contains
safety tips and general advice on coping with holiday stress. |
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This
is a relatively brief but helpful discussion about holiday stress.
Dr. Garrison is a board-certified clinical psychologist and
director of stress management programs in the department of
psychiatry and behavioral medicine at the Lahey Clinic in Burlington,
Massachusetts. |
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This
page was written by Sharon Sward, President of Eating Disorder
Professionals of Colorado. |
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Planetout.com
is a media and entertainment company exclusively serving the
lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. |
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Written
by Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and relationship coach who
specializes in working with singles wanting intimate, lasting
relationships. |
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(go
to the top
of the page)
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How
to Survive the Holidays and Stay Clean and Sober
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(For
a printable version in PDF format, click here)
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- 1.
Don't try to get through this all by yourself.
Get
connected with others who can support you in staying clean
and sober. It does not have to be your close friend or a
partner. Your sponsor, your counselor/therapist, or someone
who has had a few years of sobriety can also be quite helpful.
It's never too late to ask for help but it is better to
let someone know about your needs a week or two before the
actual risky time (e.g. a week or two before Thanksgiving).
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- 2.
Create and carry a list of phone numbers
for people who can support you in your recovery. This can
include a list of emergency numbers, a relapse prevention
hotline (415) 834-1144 or a drug line (415) 362-3400. The
list can also include some 12-step 24-hour support numbers
(go to my Substance
Abuse page for a list). You can also post the list in
a visible place like your refrigerator or near your alarm
clock.
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- 3.
Plan a clean and sober gathering at
your house or help a friend organize one. Doing so can give
your more control over potential triggers and allow another
way to get support.
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- 4.
Go to meetings.
In fact, go to more meetings then you normally do. It is
important to spend some time with people who are going through
similar experiences. Also, many meeting locations hold clean
and sober celebrations during the holiday season, including
parties on Christmas & New Years eve. Go to my Substance
Abuse page for a list of meetings in the Bay Area.
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- 5.
Get out of yourself.
Focus on someone else's wishes or needs. Help someone you
know or volunteer (Most non-profit organizations have volunteer
opportunities. You can also find some information about
where and how to volunteer by going to The
Volunteer Center http://thevolunteercenter.net/).
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- 6.
Share your gratitude
by writing letters or cards to people you care about or
would like to get closer to. You can tell each person the
traits that you value most in them, things they have done
that meant a lot to you, and ways you value them as a friend/partner/co-worker.
You can also offer to make them something (cake, dinner,
sweater, etc) or do a chore they find difficult, or house-sit,
farm-sit, pet-sit, babysit, etc.
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- 7.
Tell as many people
as you can ahead
of time that you are trying to avoid drinking
and/or using drugs.
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- 8.
Avoid parties where alcohol and/or drugs might be present
(this
includes people who are high or drunk). If you must go:
1) before the party, make at least one commitment to call
someone from your support list; 2) if you can manage it,
come to the party late or leave early to have less time
to be exposed to potential triggers; 3) go with someone
who can help you avoid picking up a drink/drug; 4) make
arrangements to do something clean and sober after the party.
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- 9.
Don't feed the beast. A single craving has a
physiological life of up to about 30 minutes. If you wait
long enough without reinforcing the craving (like browsing
through the liquor store or dialing your dealer's number
over and over again), its intensity will go down, which
in turn can give you enough room for better coping.
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- 10.
Try to walk away from the trigger.
If you can't do it physically, try doing it mentally first
- focus on something else, close your eyes, relax your body,
breathe slowly, tell yourself that "this too shall
pass."
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- 11.
Practice refusing an offer
of
alcohol and/or drugs. Go beyond "Just Say No"
- think of several possible scenarios and write down your
potential responses. The more you PRACTICE, the better you
will get at it.
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- 12.
Play out the mental tape
of what would happen if you got drunk and/or high. Make
sure you do it all the way, not just for an hour or one
day. Think about HOW NOT TO REPEAT the holidays that were
ruined by your drinking or using drugs.
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- 13.
Imagine what your ideal holiday would look like.
Then,
think about REALISTIC WAYS you can make this holiday closer
to that ideal. Invent your own traditions.
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- 14.
Create
a list of things that can help you relax
and distract yourself from
the triggers (index cards can be handy). Your list can include
things that cover your 5 senses (smell, touch, vision, taste,
& hearing).
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- 15.
Don't beat yourself up
if things don't go exactly the way you want them. Don't
punish yourself and remember that guilt & shame can
be triggers too. Be kind to yourself and
keep trying!
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Anxiety
